Blog #9: Following Up Part 2

I still have trouble with the day that I was two minutes late to a big start against our conference rivals in which I was benched. I am torn between the player and the coach within me. The player in me wants to believe that I was already at the ballpark for an hour getting stretched out and that I was just late getting from the training room to the field. Then there’s the other part of me that feels my head coach is 100% justified in his actions for acting upon my tardiness. In one of my earlier blogs, I specifically talk about this point of not letting your “star player” break the rules and the Fullerton coaching staff always followed through on giving consequences. The only reason I still hold on to this is because I know there were times my freshman year where this same thing happened, except my coach didn’t bench me. Whether your star player is performing at his best or at his worst, you must stay consistent with enforcing the rules. Sending mixed signals can be very detrimental to your team chemistry. Establish a set of rules and stick to them. Coach Garcia saw the earlier blog addressing this day I was late as making excuses. I take full responsibility for being late. If I knew that all it would have taken to be on time was to do one of my arm stretches on the field instead of in the training room, then that is exactly what I would have done. I guess there is still a part of me as the player that cannot let go of this day. It is just something that will take more time to completely liberate myself of any negative feelings. But as a coach, the first time that this happens I will address it accordingly at that moment, not wait until a year later when my player is in a slump and make him feel worse than he already is.

The day I left my team on a whim still has its consequences. I still do not talk with a good friend because he still has not forgiven me for leaving the team, and I do not blame him. One of the guys who was in the hotel room is still a close friend of mine. We have known each other since we were 7 and I am close with his entire family. He is now a coach at San Luis Obispo High School and is the greatest person I have ever known. It was easy to mend our relationship as he quickly forgave me after my sincere apology and seeing how distraught I was with my actions. My other roommate who was in the hotel room had taken a little more time to heal our friendship, however, it is still not nearly the same as how close we were our sophomore year. The following fall I went back up to San Luis Obispo for the first time to face a lot of my old teammates. I was able to mend most of the relationships, even breaking down in tears because of how difficult it was to face these guys and apologize. One of them really let me have it, and that was the hardest for me to hear. After I made amends with most of my teammates, I could finally sleep well at night knowing that about two- dozen guys will not despise me for the rest of their lives.